Beginning my autobiography—The Man From Joe’s Bar and Grill. Writing for my grandchildren.

INTRODUCTION


The words and contextual presentation of my autobiography will change over time as editors review my writing and adjust it properly.  But I want to make sure that the information I give about my life in my own words is clear, correct, and most importantly, the Real Truth.  To accomplish this, I intend on directing my thoughts towards my grandchildren.  I want to write about my life in a way that they can understand.


I have nine children who share my DNA, but none who has shared his or her life with me for the length of time that is needed for a child to develop a normal and strong parental/child bond.  None of my children respect what I do or who I have become.  None know me.  None has ever taken the time to sit down with me and sincerely ask,


“Dad, what are you doing?  What exactly is this Marvelous Work and Wonder® thing that you are responsible for?  Why are you doing it?  How did you start doing it?  When did you start doing it?  Where did you start doing it?”


Perhaps as children do when their two parents are separated, they do not want to hurt the tender feelings of their mothers by getting to know me.  Perhaps they are afraid of me.  I would hope that the former reason for not knowing me is more likely than the later.  I would feel much better about my children being kind and compassionate towards their dear mothers than ignorantly fearing someone who they do not know … someone from whom they received half of their physical makeup, which includes their brain.


Why my children would be afraid to meet with me and ask the above questions is a question that one must ask of each.  I do not know.  I can guess.  But in guessing I would be implying that I know them well enough to guess correctly.  I do not know any of my children any more than they know me.  Likewise, I will have known few of my grandchildren, who they are, where they live, what they look like, and most importantly for me, what they have become as human beings.  Are they intelligent, kind, and compassionate, or are they ignorant?


I got to know a couple of my grandchildren at a time when I tried my hardest to be the type of father that their parents needed and wanted me to be.  I could have been the best father and grandfather in the world.  I could have always been … or at least fought their mothers so that I could have been … there for my children, supporting them as they struggled through life, providing them the security expected of a normal father, which would in turn have allowed me to become a normal grandfather to you.

But how can a man, who is far from normal, possibly find happiness in life upon Earth pretending to be someone who he is not?  But again, none of my children has ever sat down with me and asked,


“Dad, why are you abnormal?  Why can’t you just be a regular Joe like most other men?  What changed you into who you are?


One might suppose that the answers to these questions would be important to my children.  I hope that my children are smart enough to understand that everything that we do, everything that we are, first starts in neurological processes of our physical brain.  My children might want to know, because whatever made me who I am and allowed me to do what I do, their brains might have the same potential because of the DNA we share.  If my children have the chance to become crazy, then so do you, my grandchildren.

Since it is highly unlikely that my children will find the courage to face me in person and ask these questions (for whatever reason), I am going to answer their questions in this autobiography.


As I indicated above, to do so …


… to make sure that the information I give about my life in my own words is clear, correct, and most important, the Real Truth.  To accomplish this, I intend on directing my thoughts towards my grandchildren.  I want to write about my life in a way that they can understand.


Dear Grandchildren,


How do you tell another person that you know all there is to know about human reality—who we are and why we exist?


How do you tell another person that you know all the solutions to the world’s problems?


How do you tell another person that you, alone, out of all the other men in the world, were asked to help an anonymous group of people attempt to change the course of humanity and save the human race?


How do you tell another person that your given name reflects the idea that you bear the burden of a Christ?  But even more narcissistic (this means, thinking more about yourself than others), that you are the very last Christ, an anointed person that has the power to save the world?


My life didn’t start out knowing any of these things.  In fact, for the first 25 years of my life, I didn’t know anything more than a normal Mormon young man would know who had spent his entire life in and around the Mormon culture.


The first thing that I found out was all there is to know about human reality—who we are and why we exist.  The person in my life who was closest to me at the time that I found out these things was my wife, Grandma Jacqueline “Jackie” Stoll.


Well, first, you need to know that I was married to Grandma Paula Rae Blades before I was married to Grandma Jackie.  That’s where Mom/Aunt Brittany and Dad/Uncle Joshua came from … but I’ll get back to Grandma Paula and Brittany and Joshua later in my story.  I needed to mention Brittany and Joshua because they were the only children I had at the time of my discovery, an enlightenment which I like to call the “transfiguration” of my brain that allowed me to know all there is to know about human reality—who we are and why we exist.


If you looked up the meaning of “transfiguration,” you’re going to find that it is defined as: (a) a change in form or appearance, a metamorphosis;  (b) an exalting, glorifying, or spiritual change.


Yes, it is true, my brain was changed, so neither you nor your parents have anything to worry about.  You share some of the DNA of my normal brain before it was transfigured to become abnormal … what your grandmothers probably claim as “going insane.”


Think about it.


I come home from work on June 16, 1987, and announce to Grandma Jackie in front of three-year old Brittany and one-year old Joshua,


“Guess what, Honey?  I know everything there is to know about human reality—who we are and why we exist!  I know, crazy, huh?  But I know it all now!  It’s incredible!”


Can you imagine me telling the same thing to my parents, to my siblings, to my extending family and friends?  I know you can imagine how crazy that would sound.  I did imagine it too.  So I didn’t tell Grandma Jackie what had happened a few hours before arriving home on that day.  But from that day on, Grandma Jackie’s, Brittany’s, and Joshua’s lives would never be the same … and once the rest of your parents were born, had they been allowed to stay a part of my life, their lives would have never been normal.


I hope all of you are living normal lives, hopefully successful lives that bring you whatever it is that makes you happy.  Because, if you are not living the life that YOU want, you will never be happy.


And it came to pass … (Grandpa likes to use this phrase to imply the passing of time between certain events.)


Although I didn’t tell anyone at that time what had happened at work during the early morning hours of June 16, 1987, I announced to Jackie that we were going to start living a new type of lifestyle, a different way of living than the way that we were living.


My transfiguration had given me a completely different outlook on the life that I had lived for the first 25 years of my life.  I could no longer find happiness living the same way that I had been raised and accustomed to living.  I needed to change my lifestyle and live life My Way … my new way.


That’s all I announced to Grandma Jackie: that we were going to live differently.


If you know of Grandma Jackie, or even if you don’t know her because she isn’t your biological grandma, because you have a different mother than Jackie’s children (Brandon, Caleb, Sariah, and Ryan), she is a very special woman.


For whatever reason, and one must ask Jackie, after my announcement, Jackie remained completely loyal and committed to our relationship and starting living my new life.


Jackie had lived in the same area, basically the same house, all of her life.  Her family was also staunch LDS/Mormon.  For Jackie to agree and support me in living a completely new lifestyle, speaks of Jackie’s incredible strength and womanhood.


I can honestly say that I have met few women throughout my life like Jackie.  Grandma Jackie was perfect for me and my new life.  I’ll write about how Jackie and I met and how she became my wife and Brittany’s and Joshua’s step-mother later.


For now, before I write about how my transfiguration affected others’ lives, including yours if you’re one of my grandchildren, I am going to explain as clearly and correctly as I possibly can how I know all there is to know about human reality—who we are and why we exist; how I know all the solutions to the world’s problems; how I, alone, out of all the other men in the world, was asked to help an anonymous group of people attempt to change the course of humanity and save the human race; how my given name reflects the idea that I bear the burden of a Christ (Grandpa Christopher); and how I became “crazy” (according to your grandmas and the world) enough to believe that I am the very last Christ, i.e., an anointed person that has the power to save the world.


Let’s start with how, on June 16, 1987, I came to know all there is to know about human reality—who we are and why we exist.

Recent Posts

See All

CHAPTER ONE

WHO WE ARE AND WHY WE EXIST As I mentioned in my Introduction, I was born and raised in the LDS/Mormon culture.  (Today Mormons don’t like to be called “Mormons.”  They like to be called “Latter-day S