The best thing I could have ever done in my life was done about 4 years ago, at the beginning of 2016, which later led me to a significant life event that impacted my mortal existence the very most. Later I realized the great significance of the choice I made.
For the first time in my life I opened myself to the possibility that all knowledge, everything I know and was inoculated in my mind by this world could be wrong. Yes, I recognized that with all the diplomas, degrees and all the schools I graduated and all my religious background that I have I could only be just a FOOL WHO KNOWS NOTHING about human reality. NOTHING! But I was willing to give up everything that this world offered me or could offer me (if I was asked) in exchange for knowing the REAL TRUTH. I was ready to live under a bridge with only a pillow and a blanket all the days of my life but at least to have the REAL TRUTH in my own hands. And the intention was to receive understanding and mental clarity about how we as fellow human beings could experience individual fulfillment, real happiness, peace. This choice led me later to the MARVELOUS WORK AND A WONDER which touched my mind and heart in a way that it had never been touched before.
A FEW THINGS ABOUT ME AND MY PERSONAL LIFE
My personal story began January 3, 1975. I was born in Cluj-Napoca city, Romania in a poor
family. My parents did their best to work hard to offer us the necessities of life, hoping that we will have a better life in the future. I had a very happy childhood. I spent almost all my
holidays in the country, in nature, where my grandparents lived, away from the crowds and
stress of cities. The students' summer vacation in Romania lasts about 3 months. Try to
imagine! Although it was a great joy to see our parents who visited us every few weeks, we
didn't want to return to the city until the end of the holiday.
My parents noticed that I was an emotional and shy boy with a frail bone structure and
because I was studying well in school (according to the expectations of the education system at that time) they encouraged me to attend the Pedagogical High school which later proved to be a suitable choice for me. How not to be a suitable choice a high school where there are only 10-15 boys and a few hundred girls. :)) By the way, my friends and close ones know me as a fun boy with a developed sense of humor. Attendance at the courses was almost 100%. Why should we skip classes when the girls are in our school? :)) The truth is that from the first years of High school I realized that working with children and spending time among them bring me personal great joy.
In High school, I was a good young man. I lived in peace and friendship with others. I did not put much effort into learning compared to other colleagues. I was the last one in English classes. I loved the sport. I practiced Taekwondo for a few years where I was a good student but I lacked that cruel fighter spirit needed to defeat the other competitor. I didn't do dating in high school although some girls would have liked to be with me. I stayed “hungry” even though I had “the bread and the knife” in my hands. Shame on me. What a pathetic servant I could be! Right? :))
But how shy was I? Well, here's a story with laughter and crying that happened after I
returned from the army. Imagine that you are visiting a girl you like and she likes you. She is
waiting for you in front of the building, then you get in the elevator together and she presses the button for the 10th floor, even though she lives on the 2nd floor. Then the smiling face of the 18-year-old girl seems to shout at you: What are you waiting for? And you do nothing. :))
That shy naive and out of space young man was me. Sigh.., Oh, by the way, we came back
then on the second floor and when we opened the door, her father was right there in front of
the elevator. What did he say in his mind about me? :))
The high school years were wonderful. Our bodies were vibrant and healthy and the
necessities of life were provided to us by our parents (who mostly wasted much of their lives for this, working as slaves for some companies). We were young and free to choose each of us to express our essence and experience what we want. We saw ourselves as part of a large family, each with its individuality. What a wonderful world! What memorable times!
Later I worked for a few years as a primary school teacher. I was in the army for one year.
Military service was compulsory at that time. In the army I couldn't be promoted to the rank of sergeant and lead a group of soldiers because I was too “soft” with fellow soldiers and not “tough” enough. So I spent most of my time working in the office as a scribe with officers who were... ready to hear?... who were only female military officers. :))
Years later I studied and took the exam at the Informatics University but the school fee for the place I got was too expensive for me ... So the next day I withdrew my file. In the end, I
graduated another Faculty in the graphic design department and I worked in this field for
Two years ago I started writing picture books for children. I created an artistic moment of
educational reading with and for children in which I play the role of the Elf of Stories. It is a
funny show offered for free to children from the primary school. We remember to do what we love most so that our joy is great and we allow other children to do the same. We promise that we will not change our child's heart for a “stone” one. There are parents who want to buy the books and with the money obtained from the sale of the books at the author's price, I earned an income for my basic necessities of life.
HOW I FOUND THE MARVELOUS WORK AND A WONDER
At the age of 30, after 9 months of discussions with the missionaries I was baptized by the
church formerly known as the LDS/Mormon Church, which claimed to be the only true church of God. It was a difficult choice considering that in Romania the majority of the population is Orthodox Christian and all those who choose other religion are seen as people who have betrayed the true faith of God. I resonated with many new truths I found in the Book of Mormon (example: The inhabitants of ancient America also received writings that speak about the code of humanity, the so-called Gospel of Christ.) I became convinced that the Book of Mormon was the “word of God.” After a few months I was called in positions of leadership being one of the favorites members in the branch. Then I got married with Lavinia in the temple with whom I have a son. I was active in the church and I did everything a very staunch member could ever do. But the more we tried to do and become more like what we were expected to be, the more tired, exhausted, unfulfilled and unhappy we became. Young couples in church branches were in the same situation, only they did not want to admit this fact. I was not happy to hear that all families have problems. I wanted to understand the causes and the solutions to solve them. The information we received in the church was not enough for me. I bought and read many books written by many famous authors but it was not what I was looking for. Finally, I came to the conclusion I have to find the answer by myself. This time I didn't ask anybody for an answer. This time I searched for the answer within myself.
One day I started to say to myself “I could give up my everything, all my material possessions, reputation, my friends, my family, my wife, even my son but give me in exchange the REAL TRUTH.” Later I thought “If I am not ready for that, at least give me that TRUTH I can understand and accept it.” I had this monologue in Romanian and I don't know for what reason, but the syntax “REAL TRUTH” I pronounced it in English. It sounded full of power to me. I believed with everything I am that I can receive what I’m looking for. I was so focused on this issue for a few weeks so that I wasn’t efficient at the job place. I wasn't interested in how I looked like and what I was wearing. I couldn't sleep and I used to wake up over the nights. Sometimes I forgot to eat. However, I was happy in advance for the answer I was about to receive. I went through some experiences that were meant to show if I love truth more than money, if I am willing to receive it even if it would come through a different way or channel than the one I was used to. Looking back, I realize now that all these were in connection with my life event occurred on the 23rd of February of the same year.
That day I worked at home on a project as a graphic designer. I searched for some music on YouTube channel to offer me a quiet background while I was working. I typed words like true spiritual music, real music, truth and music and suddenly in connection with these I found a short movie called “The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon.” From there it was only a small step to download The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon as a free pdf. file. I started to read it with wonder and a great desire to discover what's inside the pages. I never knew we had to get The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon. Since May 2005 when I had my first meeting with the missionaries, no one had ever talked about The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon here in the church, in Romania (for more than 10 years).
I remember wondering if what I just found could be true. Although I was alone at home I did
not realize at that time that I had a dialogue in my own mind. I did not stop at least for a
moment to ask myself: Hey, wait a second. Who asks all these things? Who's talking to me?” At some point I was asked: “What's the date today?” I checked on my computer and I said to myself: 23rd of February, and then I kept reading. The same tender voice asked me: “What is the meaning of this day to you?” I said to myself that it doesn't mean anything. Then I remembered that on February 16 I performed in the LDS Church a religious ordinance called the baptism with water. But 23rd of February meant nothing to me. Then I felt somehow a special presence around me, in me, next to me, as if someone has been there trying to encourage me saying: “Come on, say it! You know it! Come on!” And then, suddenly, it came to my mind a fact that me, as a mortal was not aware of it at that time. The 23rd of February was the day I was confirmed as a member of LDS Church. In the Christian faith this ordinance is called the baptism with the Holy Spirit. For the Christian world, the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth that guides them into all the truth and reminds them of everything.
The best part of this wonderful experience that is and will always be a wonder to me is
coming right now. The tender voice said clearly and directly into my own mind: “You are
right! 10 years ago, on the 23rd of February you accepted the invitation to receive the
Holy Spirit. Now you have it!” BOOOMM! I was stunned! I was shocked! Then I had the
feeling that I was in a room like an aquarium that gradually fills, not with water, but with books and a lot of information at a rate I couldn't keep up with. I was told: “Take it! Now, is it
enough?” Months later I would understand what these books and all this information
I experienced a kind of fire that started burning and rising up to my stomach, heart, neck, and then to my head. Overwhelmed I cried like I never did it before. My crying was interrupted by moments of no breathing. It was a strong emotional experience. It was different and more wonderful than all the physical orgasms I have ever experienced in my life. I wish I could remain in that state for always.
.... to be continued ....
Paul Cosmin Sas
+40 747 89 98 40