My name is Heather Burdick. I was born the youngest of 7 into a very religious LDS family. We went to church, fasted on fast-Sundays, etc, etc. We were not wealthy by any means, most of the time having very little food, yet my parents were full-tithe payers. It was typically the first thing they paid...still is.
When I was quite young, my interest in boys got me into trouble. Nothing terrible, just curiosities. My parents found out, I got lectured about how wrong my behavior was, how the natural man is an enemy to God, and so on. After that, I felt anything regarding sexuality was bad. I was bad and, therefore, I was not worthy of God's love. I never felt good enough or deserving of God's love since. I still struggle greatly with self-esteem, self-love, and me.
To make matters worse in my head, they reminded me of how my life was spared (a few near drownings, almost falling out of a 2-story window, crawling into the hot campfire coals) so I must "have a special purpose on this earth."
As the years went on, I tried so hard to be "good." I was a regular goody two shoes...for the most part...letting my parents and church control me as best they could. Realizing I could never be perfect, I began telling myself that I didn't care what people thought about me. It became my mantra, though I still tried hard to obey. I was always afraid of getting in trouble, upsetting authority...I witnessed my brothers be reprimanded over and over again...I learned a lot by my examples-good and not so much ;).
By 19, I became pregnant out of wedlock, another sin from an unworthy daughter. The church counseled to marry the child's father in such case, so I did. We are still married. He is a good, hardworking man...and I love him enough to stay...but I often feel that I am in a situation I would not have willingly chosen. We are VERY different and it makes marriage difficult. I wish I had this marvelous work and a wonder information 23 years ago...
About 2013, after the first 4 boys were born, I was trying yet again to get back into the church. I was told to read the scriptures every night and given promises of spiritual feelings. It took forever, but I finally read through the Book of Mormon. I didn't feel much, other than mostly confused...and I think I now realize why: I was reading it, trying to make it cohesive to the religion I had been baptized into. I read it wrong. I believed it was me, I was clearly not worthy of the spirit. As for prayers, I don't feel that I EVER had one answered...now I know why.
In October, 2020, I was staying with my 4th son (who was 15 at the time) at the hospital after an attempt on his own life. I had since quit going to church and giving a damn about religion in general. My brother, Ben Booth, came to visit with me to see how I was doing. He could see that I was done, with everything. He would drop hints about what he was reading (the books available on the humanity party website). I was intrigued and it made sense to me. Eventually, he sent me the links to this information. Once things calmed down, I read The True History of Religion and I was hooked. I could feel the truth with such intensity! For once in my life, everything made sense! I am currently reading The Pentateuch, and next will be The Sealed Portion.
I am so thankful my brother had the wherewithal to share this incredible information with me. I am so very thankful for the RI and our True Messenger, Christopher. I hope that all of humanity will become as a little child, and open their hearts and minds to this Marvelous Work and a Wonder, to Real Truth. Thank you for reading my story. Feel free to text or email with questions and a pure heart. :-)