I pretty much was born in the Mormon church to wonderful parents. I had a wonderful happy childhood. My Dad never joined and parents got divorced when I was 12 yrs old. Mom became inactive when I was around 14, but my sister and I stayed as valiant as we could be, not only to be good examples for them, but we truly believed. The church was a driving wedge between me and my first nonmember husband and we got divorced after 15 years of marriage and 5 kids. It wasn't the only reason, but it did play a part. I did what I thought was right the second time by marrying a valiant Mormon in the temple. I knew the church was true and I was the typical "Molly Mormon" and magnified every calling they gave me. I did my genealogy, paid my tithing, studied my scriptures, attended all my meetings and was pretty sure I was going to be welcomed into celestial heaven when I died. It was my life and I was pretty happy being this person.
I loved reading scriptures and we were counseled to read from the best books. I read many of the lost books of the Bible, Book of Enoch, and other books claiming to be scripture other than the basic four in the church. I was always looking for more. I craved new information.
In 2009 and 2010 some friends and I started going to something called The Radiant Rose Academy where a man named Usa channeled ascended masters. It was so spiritual and I had read many books associated with Saint Germain, "I am discourses" by Godfre Ray King, and many, many others. These meetings were so good I thought that if kids were raised with this type of meetings they would never fall away from the church. They seemed not to conflict with my Mormon beliefs and I could always fit the new information together with the church. Except for one thing. Reincarnation. It seemed all of the groups and things I was involved in at the time believed this.
At one of the conclaves I picked up a book that was pretty convincing about this guy who thought he was a famous composer in a past life. It was so believable I started to wonder why the church doesn't believe in reincarnation so I looked it up in Bruce R McConkie's "Mormon Doctrine" and decided to search out where he got his information on why we didn't believe in it. I was pretty surprised when his references didn't say that there was no reincarnation. I searched the church websites for more information but found none. In desperation I decided to do the "Joseph Smith" thing and ask God myself and opened myself to whatever answer I got.
That week as a scout leader we were preparing for the Blue and Gold dinner and the theme was Indians. So we made costumes etc. When I put on my Indian garb I looked in the mirror and in jest I said "Howgh, I am Pocahontas!"
I felt a surge of energy go through me and left me pretty shocked. I was Pocahontas in a past life WHAT??.
I immediately went to the internet to look up what she looked like because one of the last books I read said you carry a certain same trait through each lifetime such as hands. To my shock the statue I found of her looked almost just like me. I am sure that the statue was probably someone's idea, not her true look, but that was the first picture I found.
My next thought was maybe I was on the expeditions with Lewis and Clark because my sister and I would always pretend were Lewis and Clark exploring the woods when we were young. But I found that was Sacagawea not Pocahontas. So I thought maybe I was both, and looked up the dates they lived and images of Sacagawea. Another shock was the image I found looked so similar to my daughter Kalisha who just happened to be a river guide on the same Missouri River as Sacagawea.
So I dug further and found Kalisha had the same personality as Sacagawea. She didn't freak out if the boat capsized like in the story of Sacagawea. She was driven to get the job and pestered the company until they hired her. A native name that they called Sacagawea was Sakakawea. Kalisha's nick names have be Kiki and when she was young my son called her Weah or Wehe To me the similarities were mind blowing.
I rented the cartoon about Pocahontas and was shocked to see that I said and did many of the things that the cartoon projected about her. These similarities were also uncanny with both Indian girls and my daughter and me. (I don't believe either of us were truly them now, but it was what I needed to open my mind at the time).
I next wondered "if reincarnation was true, what else was the church wrong about?"
At the next conclave I signed up for a personal $100 reading from Usa himself to ask the gods if I was truly Pocahontas in a past life. I was a bit disturbed that "the Gods" didn't know who she was. Makes sense now, Usa is Canadian and he didn't know US history. He said he had permission to tell me some of my past lives and mentioned 4 or 5 other Indian tribes I had been in. None were Pocahontas's tribe. Someone at this conclave mentioned that they had read "The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon" I was intrigued and excited to try and find and order it .
When I got home I search the internet for it but couldn't find it. As a Primary President at the time I needed a picture of someone's rendition of the Urim and Thummim. I found a picture of Christopher holding it in his hands but that wasn't the picture I was looking for and ignored it for a while. Weeks later something made me go back to it and it linked me to Sealed Portion. I immediately ordered it.
I was deep into reading it during the next Rose Academy conclave and couldn't put it down through the meetings. I was so conflicted because if The Sealed Portion was true then Usa and everything there was not and the church was not. If Usa was true then The Sealed Portion was not true. I was in deep conflict when the mediation part of the conclave came. During this part they played beautiful music. That one they stayed form their usual piano and played the Beatles song "Let It Be." When it kept repeating "There will be an answer, Let it Be" I felt the message was just for me and brought me to tears. I had to just let it be for now, because there was going to be an answer. Then at the closing of the meeting Usa said something that got me. He said Pocahontas was going to come to the next conclave for him to channel. He didn't even know who she was a couple months ago! I was beginning to see the facade. That was the last conclave I went to. They cost hundreds of dollars and the things that the sealed portion rang true, true, true about the real truth should be free. Which also made me question tithing in the church. For church to be free made a lot of sense. And to have to pay tithing to go to the temple where the most important thing you do in life, it suddenly seemed very wrong.
So I was beginning to support the idea that reincarnation or multiple lives was true which put a real damper on families sealed together for eternity. How could we be born into the same family with same parents and have the same children each time if it was true?
I read and printed out The Lost Manuscript and my husband loved it. I read part of the Sealed portion to him but skipped over parts he would disagree with. Once he asked me to read something that he would question, so I did and that was it for him. Christopher was obviously the 99% truth and 1% lies that would lead you to Hell. So I never talked about any of his teachings again with him.
I read all of the books Christopher wrote as they were printed and my biggest hurdle in believing them was I had truly believed the church was true, so if it wasn't, how am I to believe anything else is. I could no longer follow my Holy Ghost feelings if it could lead me wrong. I thought Usa was the real deal and then I decided he was a fraud. I would listen to Christopher's live shows and it sounded so good and believable, but after they were over I would question my feelings. Now I couldn't trust myself. But Christopher had all the answers that fit together so perfectly and logically. It was years of this conundrum I felt. But I couldn't stop listening and reading his books and blogs. Everything made sense. Everything was logical. I don't know at what point that I threw in the towel and drank the Kool-Aid so to speak, but I have been following the work since about 2011. I ultimately figured I would believe it for now and if something I liked better came along and gave myself the freedom to be wrong and go with the new thing. This work satisfied all of my questions and made so much sense that it no longer mattered if I found out later it was hogwash.
Up until March 2018 I kept going to the church because my husband was a diehard Mormon and I didn't want to conflict his with ego or disappoint him by being the rebel. After all that is what I admired so much about him when we got married. He had an image to uphold with the congregation. I felt like my eyes were opened to the hypocritical and judgmental attitude it portrayed. It was hard to keep pretending that I supported it and would only accept callings to work in the nursery with the babies. It just kept reassuring to me that this new work, the Marvelous Work and a Wonder was right after all.
In 2019 we filed for divorce, so I don't have to worry about his image any more. There were many more reasons than my new beliefs for our break up, so it would have happened anyway, but now I can be who I want to be. We was married for over 28 years with 13 kids and 32+ grandkids between us. This was not a light decision.
If any of our kids or grandkids or my friends have a problem with me going AWOL from the church, they can unfriend me in Facebook. I do want to say that I will never disown you and I will love you no matter what path you choose that makes you happy. There are some of you that I have never told about this before and it is because I didn't want to hurt you. I have been the diehard Mormon and know how Mormons feel when their loved ones leave the church. I no longer want to pretend that I am something that I no longer believe. I want to support The Humanity Party with the solutions to ending poverty. Something that the Mormon church was not able to accomplish even thought they claim to be Prophets of God and have this direct line of communication with Him.
My life is so much more enjoyable since finding the Marvelous Work and a Wonder. The best part is all guilt is gone and I am perfectly OK with not being Celestial material. I went from being the most conservative Mormon to being much more liberal. I no longer judge how others live their lives. I no longer believe that there are evil spirits or angels trying to influence me. I take full responsibility of who I am and how I am living my life. I don't have to bother saying prayers, doing genealogy, being a missionary, paying tithing, writing in my journal, going to countless meetings, and the feeling of guilt-free is wonderful!! I can be who I truly am and want to be.
How my life would be different if The Humanity Party's plan for everyone to have a HumanECard® was in effect? This card would allow a person to have basic housing and utilities, basic clothing, basic healthy foods and drink, including pure water, basic health/mental care, and basic education through college at a credited college or university. It could look like this.
In the beginning...My parents occasionally would argue about how Mom spent the family money. Dad would check the grocery receipts and complain about some of the food Mom had bought to feed a family of eight, six kids. If she had been able to have free healthy food, no fighting over that. They never fought very often, but that's what their fights were over. The fights always made me cry. One time mom had all of us kids go to pick beans and cucumber for the summer. We were saving money to buy a tent so we could go camping. She put this money in the bank. Dad found out, went to the bank, put his name on her account and took the money out. I remember that fight well.
We had cows to provide us milk and meat. Dad was allergic to animals and that was a sore spot in their marriage to have the animal hair on our clothes. If mom was able to obtain free milk and meat this would have not been a cause for contention. And having to get up so early to milk cows before going to school would have made my life easier.
When Dad's affair broke up their marriage, Mom took us six kids, age four to sixteen and moved out. She had to go to work to support our basic needs. Maybe I would have not been mad at mom for not being able to buy me school clothes or school supplies I needed for class. This would have been provided with the HumanECard®.
If Mom was able to stay at home and raise us, just maybe my brothers wouldn't have gotten into illegal drugs and found they could make money pushing drugs. But I won't speculate how their lives would be different if their basic needs were not so hard to provide for them. This is my story. However my mom sold the piano to bail a brother out of jail and I was mad at her for a long time after that. At times the piano has been my best friend and gave me peace and value throughout my life.
I was never able to go to girls camp during my youth because I or my Mom didn't have the money for the fees. This is not provided by the HumanECard® but if me or my mom wasn't using it for some basic necessities maybe she could have paid or my babysitting money would have covered it. I couldn't go on most of the youth temple trips from lack of money needed.
If we had free dental, my teeth would not be in the sad shape they are today because we would have had our cavities taken care of before they got too big. I currently have a abscessed tooth which the problem began in childhood. The HumanECard® provides free dental care.
Our house burned down starting in my bedroom when I was 15. I lost all of my clothes and belongings. When Mom got the insurance money there wasn't much to buy more clothes for us. She got herself a new wardrobe and I got 3 dresses to use for church and school. The HumanECard® provides basic clothing.
I received what is called a Patriarchal Blessing in the church. In that blessing I was told I would always have the necessities of life. This was a great comfort and kept me from worrying and fretting about being so poor. I could set the table and wait to see how the food would show up to feed us, and somehow it always strangely did.
After graduation from high school I wanted to go to BYU for college. I was working at the time but barely enough to cover my basic necessities and keep my car running, so when I got accepted I had to turn it down because I didn't have the money for tuition. If college was free like the Humanity Party proposes, I might have married someone with my same religious beliefs and that would have prevented a lot of heartache for me in my first marriage.
My mom wanted to arrest my Dad at my wedding for unpaid child support, That was a bit disturbing. I canceled those wedding plans even though the invitations were sent, dress made and flowers and cake ordered. I didn't marry that particular guy for different reasons, but when I did marry I chose to elope to avoid that situation. If Mom wasn't in such dire straits financially she may not have been so desperate to wreck my wedding.
My husband did not make a bunch of money. He was a food service worker. In spite of the fact that he still supported my role of a stay at home mom. We barely made ends meet to support our basic necessities. We lived on a lot of Ramen soup. I regularly resorted to dumpster diving for food. One winter it was so cold to go dumpster diving I broke down and asked the bishop for a food order. He told me I should get a job and only gave me a food order for one week. I had 5 small children and I was shocked and told him I thought the churches stance on this was "a mothers place is in the home." We were able to qualify for the government WIC program but made just enough money to not qualify for food stamps. We could get discounted school lunches but not free.
We eventually filed for bankruptcy when the nice double wide mobile home we had was not worth the amount we had to pay for it and with the 15% interest. So the bank came and took it away. We still owned the property so we set up a tent for the kids bedroom and cleaned out the chicken pen for another bedroom. If we just had had basic free housing and that HumanECard®
We eventually bought an old small dilapidated mobile home on payments for a couple years and it was during this time that we got divorced. Just maybe if the pressure to provide for us on his meager income wasn't so great, must maybe he wouldn't have blown up at the kids so much and just maybe I wouldn't have had to leave him to protect them.
The bishop had not cashed my last two tithing checks, so I wrote a note to him to ask him not to cash them as I needed them. It was for $300 and I gave that to an attorney to file for divorce. Strange, the checks were never found. I was able to move into my brothers partners' empty house that had been used for growing pot. It was covered with black mold from floor to ceiling and took a lot of cleaning to be inhabitable. I paid a small fifty dollars a month to him. We did a lot of fixing it up as we lived there.
The first month was quite trying. I was out of food, the food banks only allow one pick up per month. One day we had no food and no way to get any. I set the table and waited. Soon my half sisters mother arrived with a car load of food and $100. Later I broke down and asked the bishop for a food order. I hate asking for help. I was able to get some child support and food stamps after a couple months. I was brave enough to leave an abusive relationship with no money in my pocket. How many others are trapped because they have no place to go or don't know how to survive on their own. Because of my Patriarchal Blessing I was not afraid.
My wash machine was broke down at this point and I had no money to fix it or wash clothes. No money for gas to even go anywhere. The church in this ward was helpful but it was so hard for me to ask for help. I took the boys out of scouts because I couldn't afford the fifty cents for fees each week and I was too proud to ask for help.
After the house was presentable he sold it and the new landlords raised the rent to $450 a month and also presented us with an eviction notice. I only got $800 a month child support and I paid this for a few months. We were able to get our names moved up to the top of the government housing list but couldn't find a place after looking very hard for 4 months. With pressure from the new landlord we left with my camper. For a few weeks we were homeless. We stayed at various relatives, but having 5 kids impose on other people was not fun.
The divorce decree was over and I was awarded the old trailer house on our property. so I moved back. I was reported on to Child Protective Services for not having enough food and improper housing for my children. My son was not allowed to have the chicken pen for his bedroom. The door wasn't wide enough for egress and if there was a separate building for a bedroom there was required to have a bathroom in it. And the heater had an extension cord out to it to keep him warm at night. All illegal. They didn't know about the rats and mice that would run around on his bed at night. He moved into the house and slept on the couch. My bedroom was the camper.
I asked the bishop for help when the government took my child support money for two months to pay back a welfare month I had gotten before they garnished my husbands paycheck. The bishop paid my land payments and electric bills. The Humanity Party's HumanECard® covers utilities.
My kids never got to join any after school sports or activities at this point because I didn't have enough money for the fees and the gas to drive them from school 20 miles away. Maybe their lives would have had more friends, At church my boys were relentlessly teased by the richer class kids.
I was given the choice of going to work or going to college to keep getting the food stamps so I decided to go to college now that my youngest was in kindergarten.
I started dating and found someone I really liked. We dated for a year. We might have gotten married if the Humanity Party provided free healthy food and safe housing. He didn't know how he would be able to support five more kids as he was only a janitor and had two boys of his own. So he was too scared to marry me.
So I moved on and found my second husband, Cal. I never finished a college degree at this time due to getting married. He had custody of his eight kids. Well he only had six left at home. He was also scared about adding five more kids to his ability to provide. I told him not to worry because he was marrying me and I had the special blessing that we would have the necessities of life. There was no way I could work if I was taking care of a dozen kids Eleven of ours and one was a live-in friend. Cal had recently lost his job and was only able to get a minimum paying job at a cannery. He was getting food orders from the church.
We got married anyway. This was the most stressful time of my life so far. The house wasn't big enough for my kids to have their own bedrooms and his kids didn't want to share theirs. Cooking for this big of a family with different tastes was a huge obstacle. One of his kids wanted control of the kitchen. Cal's x-wife stirring up the kids against me. His kids were embarrassed by the clothes my kids wore to school. We couldn't afford new clothes, only had hand me downs. If only we had our basic needs taken care of with the HumanECard® there would have been a whole lot less trauma. It covers free basic clothing.
We now qualified for free school lunches but Cal's kids were too proud to take advantage of it and I still had to buy lunch supplies for them. If everyone had the HumanECard® for healthy food maybe so much stigma on it being only for poor kids would not be there.
Cal left to secure a job in Spokane and I was alone, left to the wars of the newly combined children, the intense meddling of the x-wife. The step kids had no respect for me and hated the new invaders. I would have left and gone back to my home, but I sold my dumpy trailer house and rented the land it sat on to the buyer. I sold my camper for badly needed money and I had no gas money to go anywhere. I couldn't unload on my usual listening and sympathetic ears because long distance calling cost a lot in those days and everyone was long distance from this house. I couldn't even take a walk around the neighborhood to cry away from the house because I didn't know how many church members in the neighborhood were rooting for his X and watching us wondering how in the world we could manage so many kids. Bets were made how long it would last. Cal got tired of me complaining about his kids, so I couldn't even tell him about the wars. His kids purposely tried to break me so they told me later. I stuck it out and the kids started getting along in a couple years and now I love them dearly, all of them.
During this time before we moved to Spokane my kids knew the value of even a penny. When one son picked up change from the floor at school the other kids started throwing him their pennies and even some bigger change because he would pick it up. They threw money in the toilet to see if he would go after it. He did. He thought they were the stupid ones to give their money to him. He made over $100 in a quick time. I was called down to the principals office and told it was quite a disruption in the school and told me to tell my son to stop picking it up. I told the principal "How could I when he was making such a profit from it? It was the most money he had ever had. Yes he was mocked and made fun of at this new school and it embarrassed the step kids who had much more class and had been financially spoiled because their dad had had better jobs in the past.
Cal eventually found a job selling life insurance in Spokane and after months of house searching we negotiated being able to buy a house with a private seller at 17 percent interest. We made a whopping 7,000 dollars that year in income. I paid his x-wife alimony out of my child support. Cal wasn't making much money selling insurance and found a better job and we refinanced the house with a bank a year later. The stress of being able to provide our basic necessities takes a toll on everyone and leached out to the kids when they can't get what they think they need. We had the kids selling mistletoe to earn money for Christmas for several years. This was presented in some of the many lawsuits the x-wife had against us. We spent in excess of $52,000 over the course of 10 years with the lawsuits and custody fights. This could have been spent on the family. The basis for the fighting was money. She had to pay child support and we had to pay alimony. If she had the kids she might not have had to work. We al could have used HumanECard® paying for our basic needs.
The plumbing in the house needed some help and after years of the kitchen sink plugging up I called a plumber to fix it. I was afraid Cal would be upset to pay for that. The shower in the basement leaked into the bedroom and mushrooms were growing in the carpet. Pictures were taken and brought to court in battles to prove we had unsafe housing for the kids. I eventually tore the bathroom up, vacuumed up the rotted 2 by 4s and hired my brother in law to rebuild it. This was a cause of great contention for Cal. He said it leaked for ten years, why fix it now and was so upset at the money I used to fix it. The Humanity Party HumanECard® provides safe housing. This whole stress would have be avoided.
We couldn't afford to send any of the kids to college. This is covered by the HumanECard® for advanced education if one desires. Most of the kids went anyway and got scholarships, grants and mostly student loans. Most are still paying back the expense to this day.
I bailed a son out of jail for a traffic violation of which I got the money back a week later when he showed up for his trial. This was too much for Cal and he took control of the money, got his own bank account and made sure my name was not on it. I had been paying the bills, buying the groceries, and all needed for the kids and school etc, but now he was in charge of the money. I worried that he had plans for divorce because he did this before he filed for divorce with his first wife. I had to make a plan on how I was going to survive.
For the next several years I had to struggle to buy anything I needed. He didn't ever give me money again, but he paid for my housing and I had to eat whatever he decided to buy for food. He would ask me if I wanted something. One time I said "a watermelon" and he said it cost too much so I rarely told him what I'd like. His youngest son Seth was autistic and was able to get SSI. We were allowed to take $400 a month out of it for his room and board. This went into my bank account and when Cal retired and found out that I could also draw on his retirement, he wanted it to go into his account. He said "Why should you get all the money?"
I started working with a son and bought a cheap mobile home at an auction. for $3,300. I only had $500 I could put in the pot, but I had the time and ability to do most the work restoring it to be inhabited. One thing I learned being poor is how to do my own work, whether it was electrical, plumbing, carpentry, laying linoleum, carpeting or fixing the range. oil changes, etc. Eventually my son and I evened out the money when we had it rented. We had trouble keeping a renter in it because the winter electrical bill were so high. We eventually had to sell it because renting it was so troublesome for the very poor. They could afford our cheap rent but not utilities. The HumanECard® provides free utilities. We purchase a few other very cheap houses and motor homes and made a bit of money flipping them or renting. Getting renters to keep paying rent was always a problem.
Cal bought a Quantum biofeedback device that had reported to have some incredible healing properties and I started my own business treating clients. I used my Mom's inheritance to fix up the shed for my clinic. Later when he retired, I wanted to retire and he wanted me to give the money back to him when I sold it. So I never did sell it.
Any money I could earn after that was mine and I didn't have to ask permission to use it, so I rather liked the arrangement after a while. Seth moved out but it seemed the Gods were on my side and somehow I managed. I went back to college and got an associates degree in horticulture with some grant money. I got a few different jobs, most low paying. This was hard being I had a degree and the jobs were mostly minimum wage. I did receive some inheritance when Mom and my step dad died. I was always trying to figure out how to survive on my own again since Cal brought up divorce many times.
Our house burned and we lost most of our stuff again. The valuables we saved were stolen during some robberies. If the robbers had their needs taken care of, would they have robbed us? With the insurance money I splurged on a cheap snowbird cabin in Hawaii instead of buying back all the stuff we lost. After fixing it up as livable, I now had a place to go and didn't have to worry any more about Cal leaving me stranded without money.
When he retired I no longer had any health or dental insurance for the next 12 years. Fortunately I am pretty healthy. I broke my rib once and opted not to go to the Doctor as I knew it would cost a few hundred. Finally I am now 65 and am required to pay Medicare. I skipped the years Obamacare was mandatory as I really didn't have extra money for it. Figured if I got caught I'd pay the penalty as it was less than the insurance. It was mostly money problems that broke up our marriage. I think our life could have been very different if The Humanity Party®’s HumanECard® was providing our basic necessities of life.
I never made enough to have my own social security retirement. Now if I get remarried my social security will be taken away because it is from a previous spouse.. I would have to wait a year after marriage to collect on my sweet boyfriends retirement. However if Cal dies I will be able to keep his retirement if I remarry. I guess I'll wait unless I can find another way to make money.
A couple children lives are constantly struggling to survive. I worry for them and help whenever I am able. Some health and dental problems go untreated for them.
I believe my entire life would be different if The Humanity Party was there for me. I am fine and comfortable right now. However all it would take is one accident to put me back at square one. My abscess tooth needs to be pulled and my dental insurance hasn't kicked in. The bone has deteriorated and to restore and put in another implant will cost thousands. So the money dilemma continues. Fortunately I have very stable mental DNA and have never been depressed of mental breakdowns from the stress of money. I never needed to turn to drugs or alcohol to cope. I always end up smiling and happy. Others are not so lucky.
On the other hand my brothers are in construction now and they might be much richer building houses for the government for The Humanity Parties housing was in effect.
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