My name is Lavinia Sas. I was born in Romania, a former communist country in Eastern Europe, Transylvania region. I grew up in a 2-room apartment with my parents and my sister. All my life I lived modestly without having too much money. It's the same today. You work hard but your salary is low. I know what it means not to have food, not to be able to buy the clothes you want, to walk around with broken shoes, not to have money to buy a bus ticket, etc. Maybe that's why I understand how important The Humanity Party is. At the age of 14 I met and became a member of the LDS Church. At the age of 23, I married Cosmin Sas.
Even though I was a very diligent member and eager to follow all the rules and commandments, I began to feel that I was never good enough, that I could not be worthy enough, that I could not meet all the requirements, that I did not rise to the level of expectations. I felt exhausted: my son did not sleep at night (he did not sleep for like 4 years, we woke up every hour), we worked 12 hours a day, I went to church activities after work, read from the scriptures, etc.
Cosmin Sas was the one who started looking for answers about why we can't find peace and we are practically unhappy. Finding the Marvelous Work and a Wonder was a long process that took about 2 years, maybe longer.
I remember him telling me everything he read and found. Everything he told me he found seemed to bring me clarity.
At one point, one evening while attending an activity at church and after the activity was over, Cosmin was approached by a gentleman from Australia, named Christopher, who wanted to talk to him. I don't know exactly what they said, because at that time I was constantly running after our son Tudor (he was like 3 years old) but at the end of the discussion he said something that stuck in my mind: that we are deceived by religion. After that evening I never met him again.
Cosmin was also the one who showed me the testimony of Ida Smith. I remember that when I saw her interview, her testimony, I saw her as a very cultured and sincere lady and I believed what she said.
I also started reading Sealed Portion, I admit that I didn't read it all because considering that I am Romanian and I read in a foreign language and with a rather difficult language (at least for me it was difficult), but what I read brought me knowledge, understanding and clarity. I listened to the radio shows. Even though Cosmin was the one connected, I stayed nearby and listened.
But I wanted to know if MWAW and Christopher told the Real Truth. I did what I knew at the time, and what I learned from the Book of Mormon: to think, to meditate, to sincerely want an answer, to pray for an answer, to read from the Sealed Portion. One night I had a dream (which seemed to be very real, I don't know how to explain it, as if the real world was there). In the dream Cosmin was talking to 3 people. The people were not known to me.i never saw them before. I was behind a net fence and could not reach them to hear what they were talking, there was no gate and I was crying, but I was crying because I regretted something, like not be able to be there too. I woke up crying. I fell asleep again after a few minutes and dreamed exactly the same thing. I woke up and thought that a long time had pass but when I looked at the clock it was only 2 minutes. I fell asleep again and had the exact same dream for the 3rd time.
I did not understand what I experienced but I understood that if I do not choose wisely I will regret it enormously.
After some time Cosmin was called to a disciplinary council. I will not say more about this matter because i think is his story to tell.Then I practically had to choose whether to support the church or the truth. I remembered the experiences I had in the previous years and I chose the truth.
After I accepted the truth, my life became a little easier, I am more tolerant, I learned to respect people.I learned to shut up more because I know nothing.
Now I am very attentive to my 8-year-old son, what he does, how he thinks and how he behaves. I'm trying to learn how to be like a child.
I didn't write the personal story faster because I don't like to talk about myself, about how I feel. I'm shy. I like to bury my head in books and read.