Those who know me well, know how much I hate my job sometimes.
If it were possible for this cup to be given to someone else, I would gladly step aside ... thus I have prayed ... thus I have often "cried unto the Lord", which is the way that I complain to my True Self, who volunteered to do this kind of work, in some fashion, in each of my mortal incarnates ... Sigh ... fucking Sigh ... fucking Sigh ... :-(
Nevertheless, I wouldn't exist without my True Self. And my True Self is not about to let my mortal flesh stand in the way of keeping our mutual brain balanced in this mortal experience.
Let me briefly explain why it is so hard for me sometimes, and not hard at all for the Real Illuminati®.
Although my brain has been transfigured like Theirs, I still have a mortal, imperfect, fallen, fucked-up, growing-old, physical body.
Theirs are perfect mortal bodies, restored closer to the original state in which Our Group—the advanced humans who created this solar system so that they could keep their brains balanced—started life upon this planet Earth.
It is this flesh, my fallen, imperfect body ... just like everyone else's living on Earth ... other than these five's ... that causes the depression, the pain, the sorrow, and contributes to my sadness and sometimes inability to carry on with Their work.
Consider the clue They gave about Their physical bodies in Their religious writings:
And now behold, as I spake concerning those whom the Lord hath chosen, yea, even three who were caught up into the heavens, that I knew not whether they were cleansed from mortality to immortality—
But behold, since I wrote, I have inquired of the Lord, and he hath made it manifest unto me that there must needs be a change wrought upon their bodies, or else it needs be that they must taste of death;
Therefore, that they might not taste of death there was a change wrought upon their bodies, that they might not suffer pain nor sorrow save it were for the sins of the world.
Now this change was not equal to that which shall take place at the last day; but there was a change wrought upon them, insomuch that Satan could have no power over them, that he could not tempt them; and they were sanctified in the flesh, that they were holy, and that the powers of the earth could not hold them. (BOM, 3 Nephi 28:36-39.)
Now consider my mortal physical body.
I'm going to taste death ... sooner than later, if I keep eating all the chocolate and shit that I eat. They're not going to taste it. But I promise you, if you remain faithful to Their words and work, Oh my! How sweet the taste of death will be!
Like Them, I, too, suffer pain and [immense] sorrow "for the sins of the world."
God damn! This world is FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond Any Repair) ... at least to me. But not to Them.
They have hope for our world. If not, that little boy would be experimenting with fusion in his basement, after receiving some vital keys from Them. Instead, "that little boy" is still alive as a soon-to-be sixty-year-old man with a transfigured brain and a fucked-up body.
"Satan" (pride and ego) has all kinds of power over me at times, and the fucker is always tempting me!
I am FAR from being "sanctified in the flesh, that [I am] holy."
And the powers of the earth (courts, religions, etc.) can hold my ass anytime they want! A fucking Idaho judge didn't listen to a word I said, nor any of the evidence that I presented to him, and ruled in favor of one of my enemies who claimed that I am a menace to society, a fraudster, conman, and that I am running some kind of a racketeering scheme to get money from people. Yeah, fucking REALLY!
I am known. They (the Real Illuminati®) are not.
And behold they will be among the Gentiles, and the Gentiles shall know them not. They will also be among the Jews, and the Jews shall know them not. And it shall come to pass, when the Lord seeth fit in his wisdom that they shall minister unto all the scattered tribes of Israel, and unto all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, and shall bring out of them unto Jesus many souls, that their desire may be fulfilled, and also because of the convincing power of God which is in them. (BOM, 3 Nephi 28: 27-29.)
There is one thing, besides the transfigured brain, that I share with Them: "the convincing power of God which is in [me]." And this is why I am hated so much.
Recently, I allowed one of my cousins to visit me on the MWAW Mountain .... that's what we'll call it now. Or we can call it: the mountain of the Lord where the Mighty One lives ... Yeah, this is what They recently wrote to me attempting to lift my spirits and give me encouragement.
In part, They wrote, referring to the very few of you who follow this work, and actually incorporate it into your lives:
"Our esteemed fellow servant, you have been properly placed on a beautiful mountain top. For the few, you are the beacon upon the top of a mountain, and to the world, as an ensign on an hill. Our dearest friend, you are the light of the moon, which has become the light of the sun, and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold. You bind up the breach of these, and heal the stroke of their deep wounds. ... Gratitude fills our hearts for your continued sacrifice. We know you are aware of the sacrifice that many of the few make on your behalf. For this, our gratitude grows and continues. ..."
The manipulative FUCKS!
Their incredible words get to me every time. (I had to get out the Bible and find in Isaiah where They took the words They used. You can read it in context in Isaiah, chapter 30, verses 17 to 30 ... but the entire chapter, in context, gives an awesome message, if you understand the symbolism of Isaiah, which you don't ... But I do, that's why They can use it in Their personal communication with me.)
But anyways ...
I've had a very hard time of late. Something that weighs heavily on my mind is how Sheri "moved on" from this work. From me, that was understandable. But from the work, not so much.
A dear friend who was close to Sheri said this profound thing to me to assuage my sadness about Sheri:
"I think Sheri was more in love with you than the work. She loved YOU before she loved the work. The work was a burden to her, something that took you away from her."
Sheri means so much more to me than just an ex-wife. No one will ever take her place in how she motivated me to keep on keeping on in doing the work. She has no idea how much emotional turmoil I experienced losing her to the world. Only those who know who her True Self is would understand.
The Bros' words were beautifully written in my time of need. I didn't share them all, not even close. But Their incredible insight into my weaknesses and emotional states is amazing! They say the right things at the right time to keep me motivated.
The part I shared above was about you few. You who have sacrificed as much as I have, even more, for this work.
As I write this, I am looking out of the third deck level of the Temple Mount ... Yeah, that's what we'll call the office of the cabin on top of the mountain. And really, IT IS the highest point in the area where the MWAW Mountain is located.
As I look out, I am fucking amazed! I have been visiting and living at this place for going on the third year now, and I am always in complete awe at its incredible beauty! It's fucking awesome!
Being able to live here, isolated and protected from "the powers of the earth", is a privilege ... an incredible blessing from God, if I may.
And to have you few sacrificing to keep me safe and secure ...
It is YOUR SACRIFICE, not mine, that means the most to me.
If you weren't here, neither would I be. I could not be.
But I am. And I will continue to be your beacon, an ensign on the mountain of the Lord ... the "Mighty One of Israel" ...
Oh my ... Sigh ....
Check out the last three of these photos.
The last three were taken very recently from the top of the MWAW Mountain. No photoshop. Only natural beauty ... Oh chessssssssss!!!!